WEEK 1: Woundmates vs. Soulmates

Finding a soulmate and being in true partnership happens once we’ve healed and are ready to show up in the fullness and security of who we are. Until that happens, we usually end up being attracted to ‘wound mates’. People who, like in our early childhood, don’t show us the love and acceptance we need. For example, he doesn’t make enough time for you just like your father or her capability to show love and affection is just like your mother. Well as adults, what’s done is done. We can’t get mom or dad to give us what we most needed so we subconsciously seek to fill the voids they left in relationships with people who end up leaving the same deficits. In this way our wounds stay open, never having the chance to heal. A wound-mate situation is usually where two people with unresolved issues find each other and decide to date for what they have to gain, emotionally, financially, or sexually. It could also be where one person just wants a ‘placeholder’ relationship and the other person, even though they want more, settles for this due to a lack of identity and self worth.

A soul mate compliments who we are. Instead of keeping us tied to disfunction, they help us become even better versions of ourselves. They support our purpose in life. Two healed and whole people have the ability to support the other during life’s ups and downs. Soulmates enjoy giving to the other.

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Tanya Muir